Pinkie Pie: She'll Take it from Here
by 14RosemaryIsland
Summary: Just another day in the surreal world of Pinkie Pie; today she's going to help Rainbow Dash with a new trick but little does the author know of Pinkie's ability to break the fourth wall...


**Follow me here:** For the sake of this story, can we agree that the fourth wall can be broken via any media? And the sonic Rainboom gives off heat.

Enjoy!

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**Pinkie Pie: She'll Take it From Here**

Pinkie jerked awake violently, arching into the air, her azure eyes quite literally bulging out of their sockets. She performed a spritely loop-the-loop and landed with an out of place "boing!" on her hooves. She liked to start the day with surrealism, it kept her in shape. She shook the sleep out of her eyes, giggled for no apparent reason, tucked a bag of flour into bed and bounded down the stairs for breakfast.

As usual her daily sustenance was high in caffeine and sugar because it takes energy to bend reality. She needed to be ready to spring at any time, any pl—

_HI THERE, I'M PINKIE PIE AND MY FRIENDS CALL ME PINKIE BUT YOU CAN CALL ME PINKIE TOO BECAUSE YOU SHOULD ALL BE MY FRIENDS! I'M FRIENDS WITH EVERYONE EVEN CRANKY DOODLE BUT DON'T CALL HIM DOODLE, ONLY HIS SPECIAL SOMEPONY IS ALLOWED TO DO THAT AND IT'S A REALLY ADORABLE STORY AND I COULD TELL YOU ABOUT IT BUT I HAVE TO GO AND HELP RAINBOW DASH WITH A NEW TRICK SHE'S TRYING, ISN'T THAT EXCITING? FOLLOW ME!_

…Well…3rd person clearly isn't a functioning narrative at present so let's follow her shall we?

_COME ON! YOU ALL NEED TO MEET RAINBOW DASH BUT I CALL HER DASHIE BECAUSE SHE'S REALLY FAST AND SO SHE DASHES AND THEN WHEN SHE RUNS REALLY FAST SHE MAKES RAINBOWS SO HER NAME IS PERFECT! AND I LOVE IT WHEN THINGS WORK OUT LIKE THAT LIKE MY NAME BECAUSE I LOVE, LOVE, LOVE PINK AND I'M PINK AND MY NAME IS PINKIE AND I! LOVE! PIE! I MEAN, WHO DOESN'T LOVE PIE? REALLY, THAT'S JUST A TERRIBLY SAD WAY TO EXIST AND I DON'T LIKE THINKING ABOUT IT BUT I DON'T ONLY LIKE PIE I ALSO LIKE CAKE, CUPCAKES, PUNCH, CHOCOLATE MILK, COTTON CANDY, SUGAR CANE AND PARTIES_

_OH. MY. CELESTIA. I'M GOING TO THROW A PARTY FOR YOU ALL TO CELEBRATE US MEETING AND WE'RE GOING TO BE THE BEST OF FRIEND—WHEN'S YOUR BIRTHDAY?_

Pinkie, aren't you going to be late?

_ME? LATE? OH, I COULD NEVER BE LATE WHEN A FRIEND NEEDS MY HELP EXCEPT FOR THAT ONE TIME WHEN RAREITY WANTED ME TO POSE FOR A NEW OUTFIT SHE WAS MAKING AND I HAD TO RUSH TO HER HOUSE BECAUSE I LOST TRACK OF TIME TEACHING POUND CAKE AND PUMPKIN CAKE HOW TO FLOSS GUMMY AND THEN RIGHT WHEN I WAS ABOUT TO LEAVE MY TAIL STARTED TWITCHING LIKE CRAZY AND I HAD TO HIDE EVERYONE UNTIL IT STOPPED AND THE COAST WAS CLEAR AND THEN WE ALL HEARD THIS BIG THUMP AND MY TAIL STOPPED AND IT TURNED OUT THAT I FORGOT TO SCREW ONE OF THE RAFTERS BACK IN AFTER I USED IT TO CREATE EQUASTRIA'S BIGGEST PAIR OF CHOPSTICKS FOR—_

Pinkie?

_OH, RIGHT SILLY ME!_

And she zoomed off leaving a vibrant trail of magenta, fuchsia and cherry pigment behind her.

It so happened that the trick Rainbow Dash was attempting required Pinkie Pie's baked goods and who better to assist her than the baker herself? They had wanted a secluded place to practice and the Everfree forest seemed sufficient

_OH! OH! I KNOW WHAT THAT'S CALLED, IT'S FORESHADOWING! OR…NO WAIT, IS IT FOURLIGHTENING? FIVESHADOWING? OR IS IT REALLY A TEENSY WEENSIE ALLITERATION? METAPHOR? ANALOGY? SIMILIE? OXYMORON? IAMBIC PENTAMETER? ONOMATEPIA? _

No, but…surprisingly good guesses.

Anyways, if you neared the outskirts of the foreboding greenery, the smell of frosting could be faintly detected though it was masked by the wilder odours of tangy tree sap and intoxicating amounts of chlorophyll.

In a small clearing Pinkie was busying herself pouring bowlful after bowlful of multi-coloured batter, into her party cannon, stirring it with what looked like a powder packer but there was a large spoon where the blunt end should be and singing,

"Pour in the batter; mix it with a spoon,

Twirl and stir 'cause it's gonna be ready soon,

Lots of yummy goodness can make you want to swoon,

But that's okay as long as it doesn't get stolen by racoons,

And just don't mix the batter with balloons

Some ponies say I'm crazy as a loon,

Which is a really silly thing to say because I'm clearly a pony and I don't even have wings and I'd need to have a beaky-billy thing and I hope nothing's wrong with anypony's eyesight or maybe they saw me on Nightmare night, but I was a chicken—HI DASHIE!"

The escalation of her seemingly innocuous song (or as innocuous as you can get with Pinkie)

_THANK YOU!_

Veering rapidly towards hysterical ramblings was interrupted as Rainbow Dash shot by overhead, executed a 180 and then nosedived towards the clearing. She trotted over to the cannon which was being loaded but no matter how many bowls were put in the cannon never overflowed due to the X factor known as Pinkie Pie. They whispered for a few minutes but being quiet proved difficult for the earth pony and she began to vibrate slightly to compensate. They both nodded and Rainbow Dash kicked off, rocketing vertically until she was a speck.

Pinkie positioned the cannon to that it pointed upwards and was about to light the fuse when she gasped, leapt up and hovered in the air for a second before disappearing and returning again with a burlap sack. She opened it and dumped the entire contents into the cannon, packed/stirred it in and grinned. Don't be getting any ideas people, they were chocolate chips.

_LIKE WHAT IDEAS? _

Never mind, just light the fuse

She did and then produced a firecracker out of nowhere an fired it into the air, however instead of flashes of fizzling light there were streamers and confetti which was apparently a cue for Rainbow Dash who immediately plummeted at a high velocity in a signature position: The Sonic Rainboom.

She was nearing the point of breaking the sound barrier now and just before she did, the cannon fired and Pinkie squealed with excitement. The large gelatinous doughy blob sailed through the atmosphere breaking off into smaller pieces of unbaked pastry and just as they reached their maximum height a thunderous explosion echoed throughout Ponyville.

The sheer force of the incandescent aftershocks and seconds of intense heat rippled outwards and pierced the raw gooey gobs, baking them. The delicacies fell to the earth completely cooked but before they could get there, Pinkie had readied another mixture in her cannon and launched it into the air, this time it was oodles of sugary frosting that coated everything, including a now sticky Rainbow Dash.

_DID YOUSEE THAT? DID YOU SEE THAT? DID YOU SEE THAT? THAT WAS THE MOST SPLENDERFUL WONDERTASTIC UNBELIEVAMAZINGABLE THING EVER! THAT'S EVEN BETTER THAN THE CHOCOLATE RAINBECAUSE IT'S ALL SORTS OF GOODIES WITH MORE ICING AND TREATS AND WE CAN HAVE A BIG PARTY TO CELEBRATE AND IT'S JUST…SO BEAUTIFUL…_

And she burst into tears which on anypony one else would have consisted of salty rivulets but on Pinkie were sucrose-laced geyser-like fountains of joy.


End file.
